Calculus, Zoology and Ice Capades?

This week was full of firsts for me. First, this week was the first time in eight years that I had a math class. I have signed up for Calculus...oh, joy! Actually, I can't quite tell if it's a Calculus class or a foreign language course. Maybe Russian, or Chinese...both make about as much sense to me as the gibberish that the professor speaks. I've never looked at a homework assignment and just stared at it without even the slightest clue. I cannot even begin to fathom what to do with the problem. I will be lucky to pass this class with a C. Then, to add insult to injury, I received a letter in the mail informing me that I made the dean's list last semester with a 4.0 GPA. It's as if I'm being taunted, "FAT CHANCE OF THAT THIS SEMESTER!" My only hope is that this math professor is laid back and easy going when it comes to grading...in my case, to get an A, he'd have to be shooting up black-tar heroine when he graded my tests.

On a more positive note, my zoology class is really fun. Zoology is one of my favorite subjects, but I've never had it in an official university setting before. In all those years that I worked in a science lab an prepared dissection labs for other classes, I never actually got to dissect anything. This semester I'll be dissecting at least two animals. I can't wait. Most of the really big stuff, like Mr. Crusty, the cadaver is reserved for Anatomy & Physiology, but I'll take what I can get.

Speaking of cadavers, I almost became one today. I drove on snow & ice covered roads for the first time ever in my life. When I came out of the house and saw the snow, I was excited at first. That excitement soon wore off once I started down my street and the truck began to slip and slide all over the place. My class begins at 7:40 in the morning, so I left at 7:00 to give me plenty of time to get to school. It was still dark and the highways were totally covered. The flow of traffic was going about 30 mph and I stayed behind a semi so that it could clear the path for me. I chose to get to campus using what I thought to be the ramp with the most gradual incline. The ramp makes a complete 180 degree turn, however, from the highway. I merged into the off-ramp lane at 10 mph and turned my truck to start up the ramp...but the truck decided to keep going straight.

As my truck was uncontrollably heading for the guard rails, I began to think about my flawless driving record to date. Over a decade of driving in some of the most busy Florida highways without ever wrecking only to be taken out by some stupid Virginia icy road. By the grace of God, there happened to be a thick pile of snow that my truck gingerly bumped into which stopped my momentum. I backed up and started my treacherous ascent. I should have just parked it there and walked. The truck went up the ramp sideways because I never could regain control. I accelerated only to have the truck remain precariously sliding up the ramp askew. As I slipped and slid my way up, I couldn't help but imagine a Strauss waltz being played in the background.

Apparently every other vehicle on the road had some space-age, anti-ice technology built into their vehicles because they all effortlessly passed me by. I somehow managed to traverse the ramp and skate my way into a parking spot on campus. I don't think that a person who can't skate or ski has no business driving on ice and snow. I'll drive across a flooding bridge during a hurricane any day, but the next time the weather looks like this, I'm just putting on my snow shoes and hoofing it the seven miles in the snow...uphill...both ways!